The baby that was afraid to be born

Monday night when I got home from work I saw Monica at the window hurriedly motioning me inside. Sharon was in labor, and we needed to leave immediately so we could watch Renee and they could away to the hospital. I snarfed down a bowl of soup and yelled at the kids to get in the car, and about 30 minutes later we were speeding down the road. Hurry hurry hurry!

I knew something was stwange when we walked into Ben and Sharon's house and Sharon calmly declared that she was, in fact, in labor, and experiencing contractions of some sort at regular intervals. No clutching the countertop, no gasping for breath, just her lone, confirming declaration that labor had arrived. There was some leftover spaghetti that she had cooked a few hours earlier, and so I helped myself to a few plates, and might I add that it was quite delicious! We sat around and enjoyed each other's company, and then off to bed. Zach and I slept downstairs on the water bed, and Monica and Esther slept upstairs in Lucas' future room so she could help if Renee should wake up. Or if Sharon suddenly went into labor... I mean... she already was in labor... but, hey... Monica was ready to help.

I slept quite soundly, awakening ever so often to what sounded like Buffalo traipsing back and forth over my head, but then quickly drifting off into slumberland once again, only slightly annoyed that Zach was trying to scrunch his entire body into the small of my back. The next morning I awoke, expecting to find only Monica and Renee upstairs, but to my surprise Ben and Sharon were there also! I wanted to shout at Sharon's belly, "Wassup Lucas?" Off to work I went, wilst Ben and Sharon took a trip to the mall to try to speed things along.

To make a long story short, Lucas is still not here, and I left their house without putting on deodorant this morning.

The whole situation just stinks. Like a herd of Buffalo.