The Meeting Meister

I had a group meeting this morning at 9:30, and almost everyone barely made it on time due to horrible traffic. I met my boss in the elevator lobby, and assumed she was on her way to the meeting, but she still hadn't shown up at the conference room by 9:50, so we decided to adjourn. A few minutes later we all received an email asking us to please return to the conference room. Oh goodie!

Once upon a time I read a few chapters of Malachi Martin's "The Jesuits", which described the polish of Cardinal/Pope meetings. To the casual observer everyone is extremely polite and genteel, however what's really at work is a swordplay of words. That's how our meetings work. It's amazing to watch everyone dodge, parry, weave, thrust, and retreat, all verbally, with just a thin layer of politeness on top. Actually it's quite freaky to watch, and I thought it fit in nicely with the whole Halloween thing.

The person to my right was late, and arrived just as the boss was starting to beat up on him (in absentia) for putting the wrong date on a form. It took him a few minutes to get his laptop cranking, but after a few parries and dodges, I looked down at his hands and saw them shaking violently just out of sight (from the boss) behind his laptop screen. Not from fear...he was barely able to restrain his anger. I yawned, rubbed my eyes, and tried to stay awake.

At 1:00 today I demo'd a software application to a roomful of women. Oh fruitous joy! I could barely get through my presentation for all the giggling and carrying on. But the absolute most hideous part of all was when I had to make small-talk while waiting for everyone to show up. No matter what you say, they will respond with something that catches you off-guard. I asked if everyone had taken their children Trick or Treating, and one of them responded that no, but she had taken herself across the road to her neighbor's for a Martini. CACKLE CACKLE CACKLE. How nice.

I'm astonished at how people throw away their lives to *this*, so they can be "successful" for maybe 20 years or so. This world is not my home, and I wouldn't claim it if it was.