CHUCK E. CHEESE!

Whew, I'm bushed. My wife and I just followed Batman and Snow White around our moderately hilly neighborhood while they pillaged the villagers of every last gumdrop, lollipop, and pack of Nerds. Actually Esther wasn't Snow White, she was "princess", however she did have a little crown on her head bearing the image of Snow White, so she was easily confused.

This was the best year yet. The last 3 or 4 years it seemed like only one or two houses had their porch light turned on, but this year almost every house was lit up. After an hour of begging candy from little old couples, Esther's little sack and Zachary's plastic pumpkin were filled to the brim, and Esther staggered down the road repeating, "I have enough candy!".

At one house we actually had to wait in line behind a horde of other kids. A little old lady at the door was waiting on us. She saw Zachary and said, "Here comes Batman!" Esther was coming along several yards behind and we heard her say, "...and princess".

Esther never did get the hang of the "Trick or Treat" thing until the very end. At first she said, "TWUCK O' TWEAT!". Then she realized she was getting a lot of chocolate, so surely it must be "CHOCK O' TWEAT!". Hmm. No, that couldn't be right either. It must be "CHUCK E. CHEESE!"

At house after house she yelled "CHUCK E. CHEESE!" at the top of her lungs, before the door had even opened. I guess she thought "Chuck E. Cheese" was the "Open Sesame" of candied delights, the magic words to waterfalls of sugar.

And then there was the house where they just left a tray of candies on the doorstep. I thought I was going to have to wade into the fray with a broomstick after my kids realized they could take whatever they wanted. I wonder what the owners thought when they heard an adult male voice outside their door proclaiming, "You're taking it all! You can't take it all! Put that back!"

At the next house the lady of the house urged the children to "take whatever they wanted." Uh oh. This set up a dangerous precedent. At the house after, they each grew a third arm and started grabbing the choicest candies. The little old man at the door said, "Okkaay" as his eyes darted back and forth while he tried to withdraw his basket of goodies without spilling any. As we were walking away from the house Monica and I unfurled the rulebook of Trick or Treating and read it to the kids, thusly:

1) Only knock once. (At first Zach just about beat one fellow's door down, followed by a few doorbell rings. When he got to the door he was saying, "OK OK. I'm coming!")
2) Always say thank you. They had this down pat.
3) Only use two arms. This took some practice.

One of the last houses we went to was a rawtha strange couple sitting, outside, next to the door, looking like a couple of Druids (or something). Honestly, at first I thought someone was dressed up as a Gorilla, because that's what it looked like until I got up close, and then YIKES! The guy had black mesh over his head to give the rather realistic appearance that the hood he was wearing didn't have a head underneath. Thankfully he rolled the mesh up so everyone could see that, no, he wasn't a RingWraith. He was a jolly guy with a beard. Riigghtt. Hurry up kids, let's go.

As we were leaving, Zachary said, "That was SCARY." I looked back and saw the RingWraith turn to his wife as he laughed, "What'd she say?"

So all in all, a pretty fun Halloween. The kids racked up, the wife and I got plenty of exercise, we got to see the neighborhood up close and personal, and we survived the RingWraith.

Maybe next time I'll tell about the clan of uncostumed, bagless teenagers that came to the door begging for candy. I suddenly have a craving for Chuck E. Cheese...