Someone at the firm I work for just sent around this rawtha interesting recount of a trial victory by one of our aspiring young lawyers. Every year the firm does hundreds of hours worth of pro bono (i.e. free) work for low-income families, the elderly, and others that can't afford a lawyer. See, lawyers aren't all bad!
Please congratulate [Attorney] on account of the stirring victory he earned this morning in his first trial. [Attorney] represented our client [Client] in an action against a former landlady to secure the return of a $1300 security deposit wrongfully withheld by the landlady. After the defendant rebuffed every effort to resolve the matter amicably, we went to trial before Magistrate Judge [Judge]. [Attorney] began with a concise and persuasive opening statement which he followed with a few well-phrased questions to [Defendant]. After that the Magistrate asked the Defendant for her side of the story. The Defendant's presentation went off the rails quickly and ended with a visibly irritated Magistrate conducting an excoriating cross examination of the landlady. At that point, all [Attorney] had to do was utter a few well-timed "Yes, your honor"-s. For example:
"COURT: I assume you are seeking treble damages, due to the defendant's recalcitrance, [Attorney]?"
"[Attorney]: Yes, your honor."
The end result: Judgment for $3900 ($1300 deposit plus treble damages), and a deserving and grateful client whose five children will have a much happier Christmas as a result.
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