*Yawn*

My wife, Monica, is an early-riser, and I'm a night-owl, which is convenience because she's up-and-at-em in the morning in time to get Zach off to school, and I get to enjoy an extra hour of sleep. Or you would think. Usually what happens is the light from the bathroom seeps into a crack between my eyelids and slowly, painfully pulls me from my slumber. If I fall asleep, I'm aroused again by Monica's exhortations to Zachary to "Hurry up! You're going to be late for school!", loud bangs, crashes, the dog barking, and finally the door slamming shut as they leave. Ahhh...peace and quiet at last.

But this morning 'twas not to be. My 3-year-old, Esther, decided to wake up in a foul little mood because she couldn't find her "beebee dawg" (baby doll). She announced her distress in little half-second bursts of "whine". I could just picture her little hiney popping up into the air a little with every whine. Now I was in a foul mood because I wanted my extra hour of snooze time! Grrrr.

I stormed into her room, found a baby doll, and fussed at her for whining instead of just asking for her baby doll. Of course, out of 1000 baby dolls, I picked the wrong one. Something about the baby doll I picked just simply did not appeal to her finicky tastes. Funny thing is she sleeps with a different baby doll every night. Sometimes she even sleeps with a plastic toy. What is the selection process? How does she determine what object to sleep with each night? We may never know.

So I had to rummage around in the twilight trying to find a baby doll that would meet her high standards. The new selection also would not do, so I decided I would try the age-old tactic known as "the scary Dad". "GO TO SLEEP!", I said. After a few moments, it worked! The little booger. I went back to bed and buried my head in my pillow as sunlight began to fill the room. I could feel a headache starting in my temple.

Then I heard the door slam announcing Monica's return to my castle, and then Esther coming into the room. She said as sweetly as could be, "Dad, I woked up!" I mumbled, "MMmm" and then I heard her announcing her awakeness to her Mom, who responded with squeels of delight and good chear. I could hear them squealing at each other all across the house, so I decided to go ahead and get up.

And now here I am at work 30 minutes early, to the surprise of many of my coworkers. Ain't life grand?